Mother’s Day has me thinking about all the women in the world who are caregivers to children, grandchildren, step-children, nieces, nephews, and aging parents.

Often the work of caregivers goes uncelebrated except on Mother’s Day.

The two new terms I’ve seen lately are emotional labor and the invisible load of running a household.  Women are tasked with caring for all members of the family, planning celebrations, and maintaining family relationships and dynamics.

We give of both our time and emotional energy.

An article in The Atlantic has the internet talking about the role of the eldest daughter in the family and how the entire household relies on her diligence. I would say it applies to all daughters.

Dr. Nicole La Pera did a post about the role of the eldest daughter in the family and there are 11,000 comments.

After my Dad died I felt the full weight and responsibility of looking after my Mom and her wellbeing.  I always had lists in my head of things to do for her.  Our roles had reversed.

My brother and I hosted a dinner party for our extended family after our Mom’s memorial service.  We went around the table and my uncle said, “None of us will ever understand or appreciate what Elaine has been through in the past nine months with her Mom.”  

It brought tears to my eyes.  He was right.  My Mom’s post-stroke dementia was a roller coaster ride of emotions.  She would cry and be so confused.  It was heartbreaking.

In that moment my uncle acknowledged how hard caregiving can be.  He deeply appreciated what I had done for my Mom, his sister.

I see my girlfriends navigating single motherhood, caring for both a young child and an aging parent, caring for parents who live halfway around the world, and caring for a parent with cancer.

Caregiving can be both joyful and rewarding and it can feel overwhelming and lonely.  Today I want to acknowledge those of you who day in and day out show up to care for others. 

You answer the late-night phone call, you drop everything to help out with grandchildren, you fly around the world to help out family members in crisis, you sit with a parent as they receive chemo, and everything in between.

I see you.  You’re doing an amazing job.  I hope you feel appreciated today and every day.  

I hope you’ll pause and acknowledge yourself and all that you do to care for others.

Happy Mother's Day!